Tuesday, August 30, 2005
The High Cost of Love
I'm listening to a single from Casting Crowns new album "Life Song" the single is "Set me Free". Ah Lord Jesus Have Mercy!
Love Cost. And it hurts. Love in truth has Torment.
A few years ago, my mother would tell me "I want you to come and visit, but leave your wife and daughter at home". (My mom is an 83 year old white woman, with all the 'baggage' that implies... and my wife is a beautiful black native american, thus our daughter is a pleasant shade of beige)
Anyway, my answer to my mom was profound. I didn't see her or speak to her for 2 years (after telling her if you don't accept mine you don't accept ME).
Well, after the 2 years, mom came around (this was about 3 years ago).
Now, in the present, my wife's oldest daughter want's nothing to do with me. She even goes so far as to tell her children not to call me papa, but just 'Robert'. When her mom confronts her about it, she says she doesn't want to be fake. I've asked for forgiveness for any harm I'd done real or imagined... to no avail.
(Please pray for Jaq, she is the oldest daughter and she is in a Oneness Pentacostal Cult)
Now Jaq lives 10 minutes from the house. And comes over all the time when I am not here. And has a full relation ship with the Jade and my Janice.
Now I resent it. I resent the way I'm being 'shunned' and treated by someone that says they are a 'Christian' and goes to church 3 + times a week.
I resent that my wife allows it. I stood up to my mom, why can't she stand up to her child? Sigh.
But then the reality is I love my wife. And I'm supposed to be an adult. The Dad. Do I stop loving and being Priest of my family cause they are boneheads? no.
Christ laid his life down for the Church and tells me to do the same for my wife.
So I strive to forgive. I strive to let the anger and the hurt go.
for Love. That my wife may have a good relationship with her daughter and that the Jade may know her sister.
Damn Love sure does cost.
I'shalom
Seraphim
Love Cost. And it hurts. Love in truth has Torment.
A few years ago, my mother would tell me "I want you to come and visit, but leave your wife and daughter at home". (My mom is an 83 year old white woman, with all the 'baggage' that implies... and my wife is a beautiful black native american, thus our daughter is a pleasant shade of beige)
Anyway, my answer to my mom was profound. I didn't see her or speak to her for 2 years (after telling her if you don't accept mine you don't accept ME).
Well, after the 2 years, mom came around (this was about 3 years ago).
Now, in the present, my wife's oldest daughter want's nothing to do with me. She even goes so far as to tell her children not to call me papa, but just 'Robert'. When her mom confronts her about it, she says she doesn't want to be fake. I've asked for forgiveness for any harm I'd done real or imagined... to no avail.
(Please pray for Jaq, she is the oldest daughter and she is in a Oneness Pentacostal Cult)
Now Jaq lives 10 minutes from the house. And comes over all the time when I am not here. And has a full relation ship with the Jade and my Janice.
Now I resent it. I resent the way I'm being 'shunned' and treated by someone that says they are a 'Christian' and goes to church 3 + times a week.
I resent that my wife allows it. I stood up to my mom, why can't she stand up to her child? Sigh.
But then the reality is I love my wife. And I'm supposed to be an adult. The Dad. Do I stop loving and being Priest of my family cause they are boneheads? no.
Christ laid his life down for the Church and tells me to do the same for my wife.
So I strive to forgive. I strive to let the anger and the hurt go.
for Love. That my wife may have a good relationship with her daughter and that the Jade may know her sister.
Damn Love sure does cost.
I'shalom
Seraphim
