Tuesday, September 02, 2008
All about Mom
Unlike my father, who had a viewing and a burial, my mom was cremated and then buried.
So I know she's been gone, but it really hit me over this weekend. Why? well, the house she bought in 1995 (the year dad died) was sold in August and closed on this past Friday.
So with the house gone, it's like done. Even though I've gotten furniture out of the house, even though I've been there and seen it empty--
Even though most of my thoughts have been about my 'payday' (even though I was left out of the will, I was not left out of mom's thoughts. she directed my sister to give me part of the sale of the house. somewhere between 10 thousand and 20 thousand, probably closed to 10...)
But this morning, I even found myself unable to say 'mom's dead' without wanting to tear up. Why? It's been well over a year. And it's not been a happy time dealing with the fallout of her death and the will. feeling abandoned and orphaned...
But today, it's not about the money (though it's really going to help) it's about the fact that I can't call her. Can't go see her.
and even if she wasn't the mother I wanted, she was the mother I had and did the best she could.
So, mom, may your memory be eternal. may you be in peace. and may my memories of you be of love.